Occasionally there will be a book that is suddenly discussed by most of the podcasts and publications I consume. Last week, it was Get Married by Brad Wilcox.
Wilcox uses a mountain of data to show that married people are, on average, much happier than those who are not married. (Of course, there are many exceptions.)
Wilcox highlights a 40-year-old married woman with two young children who describes how her life is more "messy" than it was when she was single. She can’t do some of the things she did before. Still, she says she has "a deeper sense of meaning in the world" and feels "happy in a more profound way."
Entering into the literal messiness of a house with kids or the figurative messiness of the human condition is not at odds with happiness. It’s often a source of deeper happiness.
Getting married, starting a family, or working with those who are suffering makes life more complicated. It’s not always pleasant, but it can often be a wonderful complication.