The Subtle Art of Should

Maybe you should, but maybe you *shouldn’t*

We run into problems when we follow advice that makes sense in some situations, but not the current situation.

For example, "keep your options open" can be wise. It can also be taken too far. Some people keep their options open for so long that they miss out on the freedom that comes from commitment.

Advice around what we "should" do often falls into this category of “sometimes wise, sometimes problematic.”

People may internalize some "shoulds" that aren't coming from a good place. A wound from childhood or a misguided attempt to earn our salvation might lead us to think we should do something, even when we shouldn’t.

Some swing in the other direction and advise others to throw the "shoulds" out the window and focus on what they want to do. 

"You do you," one might say. 

Now, if we're at a restaurant and you want to order something I don't like, go for it. You do you.

But if "you do you" is an invitation to go deeper into our own narcissism and avoid the needs of others, let’s not. 

We should be discerning when it comes to shoulds.