While imprisoned by the Nazis in 1944, Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote about how a Christian “can devote himself with an easy mind to music, friendship, games, or happiness.” He was in a Nazi prison. He would be killed the following year. But he wrote about games and happiness.
Brian Edgar points to this example of Bonhoeffer and writes, “Play and pain are not mutually exclusive. Playfulness does not itself banish all pain, but nor does the presence of pain mean an immediate end to play or pleasure.”
Those who have suffered can still enjoy life. In fact, it is often those who laugh who can withstand hardship that would break the deadly serious.
Sometimes courage looks like a valiant warrior fighting in battle. Sometimes it looks like a joke that both confronts an issue and defuses conflict.
John Gottman is a psychologist known for his research on the success and breakdown of relationships. He found that emotionally intelligent couples are masters at “repair” techniques. Humor is a potent form of relationship repair.
Zach Brittle of the Gottman Institute describes how humor “can lower the tension level of an argument, destroy the division between you and your partner, and remind you that you’re human.”
He continues, “An artfully deployed inside joke can shift the focus away from your fixed position and toward your shared we-ness.”
Laughter doesn't solve all our problems, but it sure can help.
If we feel stuck, the answer may not be to grit our teeth and bear it. We might need to laugh out loud.