Do Talk to Strangers
It’s easier than we think to talk to strangers — and often more delightful.
Behavioral scientist Nicholas Epley asked train commuters to talk to strangers during their ride. David Brooks summarized some of Epley's findings in a column last year:
Commuters expected to have less pleasant rides if they tried to strike up a conversation with a stranger. But their actual experience was precisely the opposite. People randomly assigned to talk with a stranger enjoyed their trips consistently more than those instructed to keep to themselves. Introverts sometimes go into these situations with particularly low expectations, but both introverts and extroverts tended to enjoy conversations more than riding solo.
I have been startled by many studies showing the dramatic rise in loneliness. Twelve percent of Americans do not have a single close friend. Fifty-four percent report feeling at least sometimes that no one knows them well.
The stranger on the train is unlikely to become one's BFF, but reaching out will often lead to a positive interaction. Most of us could use some more human connection.
There’s also a digital version. I've been surprised by how often public intellectuals will respond when I email them out of the blue.
If it’s too intimidating to talk to strangers, we could start with acquaintances or old friends.
Brooks refers again to Epley's research in his new book, How to Know a Person. Some friends and I are reading the book together.
I first met them two decades ago, but much has happened in the meantime. It’s a chance to get to know a person — again.