We have it easier than ever today. And we seem to be more fragile than ever.
I recently finished Jean Twenge's new book Generations. Twenge does a masterful job of mapping the differences between generations.
I was eager to read the section on Millennials — narcissism runs deep in my generation — but I was even more interested in Gen Z (born 1995-2012).
Most of my priestly ministry has been with that generation. I find them quite refreshing. I also worry for them.
Their rates of anxiety and depression are through the roof. I have repeatedly heard college professors use the word “fragile” to describe the current generation of students.
Of course, it's not appropriate to blame Gen Z for the issues they may have. Gen Z did not choose the technology, cultural norms, and parenting styles that shaped them. (And Lord knows the other generations have their own issues!)
In an illuminating essay, the author Kat Rosenfield looks at how Gen Z grew up hearing a different message compared to previous generations.
She writes, “If the old mode of thinking was that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, the new one is something like: What makes you feel bad must be eradicated.”
She continues, “All of this has been well-intentioned. Nobody wants their child to experience trauma—or heartbreak, or failure, or any other kind of hurt. But in seeking to provide kids with a frictionless path through the world, and by teaching them to expect one, we are also sending a powerful message: You can’t handle this.”
Of course, many members of Gen Z can handle difficulty, and I hope many more learn to embrace hard challenges.
It's not that I want them to suffer; I want them to flourish. And many of the most beautiful things in life are also the toughest.